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Separating from a spouse and making the decision to divorce, can be one of the most difficult and stressful times in a person’s life. Here our family law solicitor, Lisa Honey considers the top tips to consider before embarking on the process:

Has the marriage broken down irretrievably?

It may seem like an easy question to answer but it is important to decide whether there is any chance of reconciliation. If so it may be more appropriate to consider a form of therapy such a marriage counselling or family therapy.

Obtain legal advice

It is important to ensure you have obtained clear independent legal advice so you are aware of your options and the implications of any agreement reached. You should be clear on your options in respect of the divorce, financial matters and where appropriate arrangements for any children.

Take your time

There is no need to rush into a decision to divorce. Take time to consider the options and whether it is more beneficial in the circumstances to separate for now or to issue divorce proceedings without delay.

Consider your options

Once you have obtained legal advice, there will be a lot to think about. You will need to decide whether to issue divorce proceedings now or to wait (depending on your circumstances), how the matrimonial finances will be dealt with (to include the family home, who will remain living there, who will meet the household bills etc) and the arrangements for any children going forward.

Consider the Court requirements

If you do make the decision to issue the divorce proceedings, the original marriage certificate will be required. You will also need to decide who will pay the Court fee (currently £593) and upon what grounds the divorce will be based.

Update your details/ entitlements

There may be additional steps to take now you are separated. For example, if one party was previously unable to claim child benefit due to the high income of the other party, it may now appropriate to claim, the council tax bill may now be reduced to allow for a single occupancy discount, utility bills and insurance policies may also need updating. You should always seek advice before making any changes.

Consider the needs of any children

The needs of any children should be considered as paramount when looking at the family finances and the arrangements for the children going forward. It is important to retain a good relationship with the other party to ensure parties are able to co-parent affectively. It is also a good idea to consider the best way of reaching an agreement, such as through mediation or collaborative law which is often less confrontational.

What about Child Maintenance?

Check whether it is appropriate for one party to begin paying the other child maintenance. It is a requirement under the Child Maintenance Service (CMS) rules for the ‘non resident’ parent to pay child maintenance to the main carer of the children. There is a useful online calculator on the CMS website which can be accessed by parties.

Try to maintain a good relationship with your spouse

Divorce, related financial matters and child arrangements can often cause a huge amount of animosity between parties. To avoid delays and potentially large legal bills, parties should aim to reach an agreement as amicably as possible. There are several ways to reach an agreement without the need for Court proceedings, such as family mediation, collaborative law or through solicitor’s negotiations. Whatever the method used, it is important to ensure to maintain a good line of communication.

Do not forget self care

As mentioned above, separation and divorce can be the most stressful time in a person’s life. There will be so much going on that often parties forget to look after their own wellbeing. It is important to ensure you are surrounded by a strong support network.

Should you require legal advice on separation, divorce, financial matters, arrangements for children please contact one of our family lawyers today on 0808 164 9951 or email This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it..

Please note that this blog is not to be taken as specific legal advice.